This tip is about Reflection and Learning. Things we don’t do enough – and when we do them – we’re usually pretty hard on ourselves.
Take a few moments to reflect on how you've applied the tips so far. What you are learning about yourself? And with that learning, what actions can you take to move forward?
Before you start to focus on what you weren't able to do (yet), tell me something you were able to do, even if it feels insignificant. We tend to dismiss what we accomplished in favor of what we didn't, and we lose the opportunity to apply that learning, build on that success, and keep that momentum going.
Maybe you’re starting to feel more in control of how you use your time. Maybe you’re learning that you actually get a lot done but you had unrealistically high expectations. Maybe you’re learning to delegate or to not take as much on. What actions can you take to further support that learning?
Think of one thing you've been able to do and how you want to carry that forward and do more of it. Maybe it was just thinking about all the tips so far, and you want to commit to the rest of them.
Now, focus on what you're learning about yourself that you'd like to adjust to get more out of these tips.
Maybe you’re learning that you have plenty of time but you don't use it as well as you could. Maybe you spend two hours a day scrolling social media or binge-watching videos instead of doing all the things that you should do. After all, you could get so much more done in those two hours! A workout, cleaning the house, answering emails.
Guess what? You're human and you’re not alone! Who hasn’t felt overwhelmed by the to-do list and turned to scrolling or binge-watching to disconnect and zone out, to get a mental break?
When we’re stressed, we usually tell ourselves stories about how we’re not good enough, how everyone else has it figured out, how hard the task will be. And despite all of these challenges, we must somehow force ourselves to do it. This is actually how most people try to motivate themselves but it doesn’t work very well. It's a great way to achieve the opposite – complete lack of motivation to do much of anything! Think about lifting a heavy grocery bag to take it inside. You can lift that. When you pile on each negative thought about yourself, each comparison to other people, each thought about how hard the task will be, it’s like adding two more heavy bags each time. It makes the task exponentially harder. Maybe you can carry them a short distance, but at some point, you'll need to stop and take a break.
Who wouldn’t want to scroll through content or binge something for a few hours, just to get that break?
The solution is easy to say and harder to do. Stop beating yourself up, try to understand yourself better, and think about how you want to use that learning to find better ways to get things done.
When you asked yourself what you were learning about yourself, maybe something not very nice popped into your head and maybe you even said it out loud. Maybe it was something like, I learned that I’m lazy or I learned that I'm hopeless, or something like that.
Think about how you feel when you think like that and how much harder those thoughts make it to do what you want to do. What could you say to yourself instead? If you find yourself absolutely frozen, I can help. Feel free to reach out to me (www.victoriascottcoaching.com/contact).
Reflect on that and I’ll be back tomorrow with some more tips on motivation.
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