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Writer's pictureVictoria Scott

Getting Personal for Self-Care Sunday

Updated: Sep 28, 2022

This week’s Self-Care Sunday is a little different because I’m sharing that I recently recovered from surgery (don’t worry – I’m doing great)!

It got me thinking that my experience is a great reminder that self-care includes our health – especially physical, mental, and emotional health. My experience is also a metaphor for other things you may be tolerating in your life instead of harnessing your own power to change them. I hope you’ll take 3 minutes from your day to keep reading or watch my video, it will be the last one I'll be posting for a while. I’d love to hear from you what you’re currently tolerating in your life and what support you think you may need. You may become the inspiration for future videos!

I've been recovering from surgery to remove a benign tumor and I’m feeling really good. My body literally grew something that didn't belong there. Even though it was benign, it grew too big and took up space that didn't belong to it. It was crowding my organs, making it harder for them to do their jobs and causing me physical pain. It took a few months to figure out what was wrong and then get surgery. Maybe you or a loved one have been through something similar.


I was very fortunate in my experience – it could have been much, much worse in so many ways. It got me thinking about what a metaphor this experience is for those of us who have something in our lives that we tolerate without doing something about it. Maybe it's a job, a work environment that’s "not that bad" or "could be worse." Maybe it's your own mindset that's holding you back from finding more fulfillment.


Let's look at the parallels. Tolerable circumstances can seem benign. But aren't they doing damage just the same? After a while, you get used to the "not that bad" work environment and learn how to navigate it in order to survive. You withdraw, disconnect, go through the motions, and feel numb when you’re not stressed. It exacerbates negative self-talk and makes you feel helpless, purposeless, powerless, frustrated, even angry.


Those thoughts and feelings start to take up more space than they should. You think about work in your off time, when you're with your loved ones. It's hard to put those thoughts down and find enjoyment where you used to. It's hard to find any positive, supportive thoughts. Clearly, there is damage being done and there is pain.


It's funny how it sneaks up on you over time. It wasn't until I felt bad enough symptoms that I realized something was wrong. The shifts happened so slowly over time that I forgot what normal looked like. I knew it was affecting me, but until it was gone, I didn't realize the extent and all the other ways it was affecting me too.


A bad work environment can sneak up on you like that. Even if you know what's going on, that knowledge is not enough to protect you. The negativity still finds a way to get in and it still affects you.


Maybe it's the way you mentally categorize the things you can't say to your boss so you don’t set them off. Maybe it’s the way to explain away your boss’ unacceptable behavior (even though you know there's no acceptable excuse). Maybe it's the way your confidence has been shaken and the way you second-guess yourself.


But what else can you do? Your job isn’t that bad, at least not bad enough to take up the task of finding a new one. Or is it? And is "not that bad" really good enough?


It's a tricky because it's intangible - it's words, feelings, and behaviors. It’s hard to trust your own judgement when you don’t know those voice is talking anymore. Is it yours, your boss’, your gut, or is it your fear? If it was a physical diagnosis, you'd probably see a specialist and take care of


Maybe it seems like something you need to figure out on your own, how to tolerate it. But how can you build strength and motivation when you’re in a place that tearing you down every day? How are you supposed to figure it out all on your own?


The good news is that you don’t have to. If you find yourself stuck and struggling, reach out to a specialist – a coach like me – to see what could be possible for you. You can schedule your free 60-minute consult at www.victoriascottcoaching.com/schedule.


I currently have two spaces open for private clients and I’m never too busy for your referrals. If you have someone in your life that you think may benefit from this message, please feel free to share this message with them.


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